Why do we crave rituals? Why do so many people who crave rituals feel alienated by the circles within which rituals are practiced? From the dogma of religion to the general superficiality of New Age spirituality, many people who seek the sacred, feel turned off or cut off by the spaces and communities that do ceremonial work. Secular rituals can become an alternative lane, where the roads of spirituality and atheism, sacredness and secularity cross and converge.
Not everyone is gonna relate to this, but many of us are thirsty for spirituality without religion or superstition, for a grounded relationship with the mysteries of the universe without the mysticism, for magic without belief. For those of us who see ritual as art, secular rituals can feel like a deep pool of meaning making possibilities, because they are not prescriptive, they are not tied to religion, and they provide a rich soil to plant intentionality and vision into. They offer a path of creativity instead of faith, a path that weaves ancient wisdom with modern knowledge, intellect and imagination, Somatics and spirituality.
Why Humans Need Ritual
Most humans have a natural pull toward ritual. It’s not even a conscious thing. We create rituals even if we don’t think of ourselves as ritualistic people. For many of us, it’s the meaning making process, and the awareness with which we show up to life. But some of it is simply the natural way in which habits are formed. It happens in our brain through neuropathways. It happens in our lives because we are pulled by the gravitational force of repetition.
But the depth of ritual isn’t in the repetition. The deepening is a process that involves as many aspects of ourselves as we can call upon, and the magic of it is in our creativity. Rituals are inseparable from humans, just like mythology, and art.
Rituals Anchor Us in Time
The nature of life is cyclical. We cycle around the sun and mark the day of our birth. On this cycle around the sun there’s a day in which we collectively mark the ending of the cycle and the new beginning.
Within the planet’s cycles there’s night and day, and there are seasons, which are the response of the planet to the tilt of its own axis, and the effect it has on the way the planet receives the light of the sun. In modern times, particularly in the Western World, we are less connected to the seasons, particularly in an agricultural way. Nevertheless, the light of the sun, the temperature, the growth cycles of the plant world all influence our bodies and our psyche – individually and collectively.
Different traditions celebrate their holidays. Many traditions’ holidays are based on the relationship between the human and the season.
The moon also has its effect on our system. Lunar cycles were historically deeply related to women’s cycles. More and more research today (although it’s not yet the consensus) ties the tides, the light, and its gravitational pull, to our biological rhythms; our hormones, sleep, and mood. The mythic notion and the wisdom of ancient cultures invite us to notice in our own bodies and psyche how we feel as the moon moves between phases. Lunar calendars (such as the Islamic one) or Lunisolar calendars (such as the Jewish and the Hindu calendars) are still followed to this day. Lunar rituals anchor us in change, root us in our cyclicality, ground us in our shifting tides.
Life’s transitions marked by rituals become more significant, more meaningful. Rites of passage from childhood to adolescence or adulthood have been important to every ancient tradition. Modern secular culture has disconnected itself from the importance of ritual. We can ask ourselves what that does to our psyche. Marking the transition between life’s phases is as important as we choose to make it. What price do we pay as a collective when we pay no attention and give no significance to big life transitions?
A ritual can help us ground in the cyclicality of time, and help us feel more connected and held within the greater whole.
Rituals Create Meaning in the Everyday
When I became a mom, the newborn phase felt like the embodiment of sacredness for me. I know the majority of moms don’t feel this way, but something about the unpredictable, the newness, the closeness to this tiny being who was still so fresh in this world, and the magic of my body as a life giving power, felt like an ongoing ceremony.
It was later on, when the baby phase unfolded into childhood, and I had another baby, and the schedule started to enforce itself from the outside, that the need for ritual became acute. When the mundane started to creep in, and the routines began to settle too strongly, and the everyday started to feel like a race to bedtime – that’s when I began to create tiny, but ever so meaningful moments of connection to magic. I kept reminding myself that a little goes a long way.
Five minutes of breathing make a difference. Chanting a mantra while making coffee because the only moment you get, can become what anchors you in your soul. Putting one hand on the belly and the other on the heart and telling yourself a few kind words, a few times a day, can shift everything.
Modern struggles are real. It’s in the everyday that we need to create a more meaningful connection to life’s sacredness, to our own magic. There are infinite meaningful rituals for daily life that we can create. Creating personal rituals can become the antidote to stress, to our culture’s superficiality, and to the issues caused by the isolation so many experience in today’s world.
If you’d like inspiration and gentle guidance for weaving meaning into your days, my free Secular Ritual Guide offers ideas and simple practices to help you root into the sacredness of the everyday. Get it here.
Rituals Connect Us to Each Other
We live in a world that has severed us from natural ways of living. We no longer live as a tribe. We no longer have a village to help raise our kids. There is beauty in modernity as well. I’m not here to bash it. But I do think it’s important that we are not only aware of the problems caused by isolation, but also do the work of reintegrating ourselves with something greater than ourselves.
Community is necessary and important. Gathering for secular rituals is one way to build community. It doesn’t have to be based in sacredness. It can simply be the way that a group of parents build a creative haunted house at their children’s school every Halloween. The excitement of working together again to make something for the kids, for the whole community, can fill us with purpose and help knit a tighter circle, and a stronger sense of belonging.
But even solitary ceremonies can anchor us in our interconnectedness.
Crafting personal rituals for meaning and connection can help us reestablish a relationship with something greater than ourselves. Even if you are practicing by yourself, a lunar ritual, for example, can help ground you not only in your own phases, your own ever changing nature, but in ancestral wisdom, and in remembrance of the whole.
The moon is part of the earth. The earth is part of the solar system. The solar system is galactically woven with space and time, and the universe continues to expand with you in it. All beings on the earth are under the same moon as you. Humans have been in relationship with the moon since the dawn of humanity. You and the moon are inseparable from the whole.
What Makes a Ritual Secular?
The beauty of ritual without religion is the freedom of creative vision, personal meaning, and reenchantment of our relationship with life. Secular rituals are not prescriptive. The symbolic meaning in rituals can draw from ancient cultures, from nature, from our lives, from mythology, and even from symbols that religion has appropriated. The power of secular rituals is in how we come to it, and what we do with it.
Ritual Without Religion: Breaking Free From Dogma
When religion is involved, dogma is involved. While dogma can simply mean “teaching,” we have come to know it as a certainty, as a truth that cannot be questioned. Religious rituals are based in belief and in an indoctrination that is laid down by a religious authority.
To create rituals without religion, we might need to take a slow deep breath and allow ourselves to ask questions. Why are we even doing this ritual? What are our hopes? Who are we becoming through this engagement? What do we want? What do we need? What wants to be birthed through us? What needs to be released? Does this even work? Is this silly? What the hell am I even doing? You can keep going… questions are infinite. Questioning divorces ritual from dogma.
The invitation of sacred secularism is to create your own rituals. Creativity is the key. You’re an artist collaborating with the power of life. You are crafting something rather than consuming it. You are not following a recipe, you are inventing it.
Modern magic practices without dogma are becoming more popular because so many of us are hungry for meaning, depth, and connection. We’re artists and soulful beings who want to feel sacred in a secular way. We’re done with dogma on the one hand, and with superficial bullshit on the other. We are ready to weave a new story into how we live, and who we are; as an individual and as a culture.
The Role of Intention and Symbolism
Knowing why you’re showing up to a ritual is important, even if all you know is that you’re craving a deeper meaning. An intention is important. It doesn’t need to be huge, it just needs to anchor you in your own heart, in the spirit of your life, and in relationship to something bigger than you.
An intention grounds you in the reason you’re doing the ritual. It is the hub of the wheel. When you feel scattered, the intention is what you come back to. It gathers you. It propels you forward and it gives you something to lean back on. It’s where you come from and it’s your aim. The intention is what gives meaning and purpose to a ritual.
Symbolism activates the mythic mind, the imagination, the hidden gems within the crevices of the psyche. It moves you into a playful space. It forms the transition from the ordinary into the sacred. Symbols are evocative, they generate a feeling, a mood, a vibe.
Symbols cultivate a meaning making process. They can be interpreted in many ways, inviting us away from a restricted, inflexible mindset and into expansive view, broader vision, and deeper exploration of the personal and the collective unconscious.
Designing Your Own Secular Rituals
There are infinite ways to plan a ritual, to outline, map, and weave together patterns of a sacred experience. Creating personal rituals is an art form, a journey into secular spirituality, into the enchantment of the everyday.
Notice Archetypes in the Stories You Love
What are your favorite myths, stories, and fairytales?
Archetypal energy is a strong aspect of modern magic practices without dogma.
Pay attention to the kinds of characters that you’re attracted to, and the kinds you find interesting and compelling. The most interesting characters might have more than one archetype hidden within them – just like you.
Here’s an example from modern storytelling:
My daughter really wanted me to read the trilogy of The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. I recently swallowed them whole! I couldn’t help but see the archetype of The Huntress in Katniss Everdeen. That’s the obvious, right? She’s Greek goddess Artemis. But I also recognized The Medicine Woman in her. Even though her mother and her little sister embody this archetype more obviously, Katniss is Egyptian Goddess Isis – healing, life giving, protective, wise, medicine woman.
What archetypes do you see in your favorite stories?
Root Your Rituals in Story and Archetype
An archetypal ritual design is one of many powerful tools you can use.
Call upon characters that spark a specific energy in you, as well as themes from stories that support the aim of the ritual. This process is the merging of symbolism and intention.
Ask yourself what archetypes resonate with you and with the ritual’s core.
If you are trying to birth something into the world, and your ritual is for the purpose of supporting this, you can work with the archetype of the Mother, as well as the archetype of the Midwife.
If you are designing a ritual to help you cultivate courage and strength, the archetype of the warrior is an obvious choice, but you can go deeper and think outside the box (the archetype of the Mother works well here too, if you ask me).
If you are in the process of healing something, and you’re crafting a ritual for this purpose, the Healer, or Medicine Woman, might be a key symbolic presence for you.
You get the idea.
Think about what resonates with your intention. Feel into what resonates with you right now. Let the narrative come to you through this self interrogation, and a contemplative view of your life.
Choose Symbols and Gestures That Ground You
Once you’ve identified a mythic aspect, choose an object that symbolizes it, and a physical movement that embodies it.
For example; if you choose water as your archetype, particularly the creative aspect of it, specifically with an artistic emphasis (rather than the life-giving energy of The Mother archetype), you may think of the Goddess Sarasvati from the Hindu tradition.
She’s the goddess of knowledge, music, poetry, and the arts. She’s a musician, an intellectual symbol, an artist figure, an independent and sophisticated character who holds the book of wisdom (the Vedas) in one of her hands, a musical instrument in another hand, mala beads in a third hand (to count the recitation of mantra), and her fourth hand is in a boon giving mudra.
So if you choose Sarasvati as your archetypal presence, because you are invoking your own creativity for a specific project, you can pick, for example, a book that represents wisdom and knowledge for you.
When you perform your ritual, you can hold the book near your heart with one hand, and place the other hand on your knee in Vara Mudra (the Indian gesture of boon giving; The palm facing up, extended forward, as if you’re holding an offering in it).
Build Depth Through Rhythm and Repetition
What brings life to a ritual is when the gesture becomes movement, and the movement is repeated several times. It helps create a rhythm in the body that generates energy. The energy becomes specific through the symbol and the intention.
To keep our Sarasvati example going, you can keep the hand that holds the book in front of your heart, and use the other hand to move between the book at the heart and Vara Mudra on your knee. With an inhale bring the hand to the heart, and with the exhale extend it forward into the Mudra. Decide how many times you want to do that.
Once you’ve outlined your own symbols, gestures, or rhythms, you might still wonder how it all comes together in practice. I created a free Secular Ritual Guide with details to help you turn ideas into meaningful practices. Get it here
Why Secular Rituals Matter Today
At this moment, when the culture is deprived of depth, and the individual is more isolated than ever, and so many of us see how harmful religion can be, as we witness authoritarianism establishing itself ruthlessly, and humanity becoming more and more polarized, more and more dependent on technology, less and less connected to nature, spirituality without religion or superstition is calling us.
We see how problematic faith is. We see how problematic lack of depth and meaning is. And we crave connection. We seek integrity. We are hungry for sacredness.
Secular Rituals as Tools for Resilience
The uncertainties of the world are not comfortable. Many people turn to faith and religion and spirituality to try to overcome the difficulty of living in a world that doesn’t offer much stability. Rituals help us feel connected. They create structures. Secular rituals invite a meaning making process.
Struggles are not going to go away, and we cannot gain control over the world. But secular rituals can help us cultivate our strength and flexibility, our receptivity and our creativity. They help us become powerful vessels for the intense, beautiful, wild, unpredictable force of life.
Rituals help us weave purpose into everyday life, even without religion or mysticism. If you’re ready to ritualize your sacred secular world, I’ve created a free Guide with ideas and examples to inspire your own practice. Click here to get it and begin to create rituals that authentically nourish you.
If this exploration speaks to you, you might also love my Monday Muse Medicine essays on Substack, where I share reflections and prompts to keep your creative spark alive. Subscribe here.
Check out my Rituals Without Belief video here, and subscribe to my YouTube channel for more.
Read about Sacred Secularism here. And read more about why myth matters in this essay here.
Thank you so much for being here!
Much love,
Hagar